Ranking the Girlfriends of Seinfeld in Order of Hilarity


Jerry might have been the comedian of Seinfeld, but he had a knack for dating some equally funny ladies. Here are the top 14 women that matched him laugh for laugh.

14. Dolores (Susan Walters)
Dolores was the girlfriend behind the whole “Doloris-Clitoris” line, which ranks up there as a Seinfeld classic. (Mulva? Jerry, what were you thinking!?)

13. Isabel (Tawny Kitaen)
Jerry didn’t last very long with Isabel. She was very attractive but very ditzy. Isabel wasn’t as funny as she was fun to laugh at.

12. Tawni (Kimberly Campbell)
Jerry thought Tawni had a foot fungus and was thisclose to dumping her over it. Instead of getting mad, she got even — hilariously, by dunking one of his belongings in his toilet.

11. Gillian (Kristin Bauer van Straten)
Gillian’s comedic legacy can best be summed up in two words: Man hands.

10. Winona (Kimberly Norris)
Winona was way ahead of her time when she took Jerry to task for being insensitive to Native-Americans when he gave Elaine a cigar store Indian.

9. Marla (Jane Leeves)
Marla was the virgin who was going to give it up to Jerry, until she heard about the gang’s “contest.” In a hilarious twist of fate, she loses her card to John F. Kennedy, Jr.

8. Laura (Marlee Matlin)
Laura stole the episode when she played Jerry’s deaf girlfriend in “The Lip Reader.” Her comedic timing was perfect when George got her to lip-read his ex-girlfriend’s conversation at a party.

7. Gennice (Adelaide Miller)
Gennice, Bette Midler’s highly emotional understudy in the musical Rochelle Rochelle, kept Jerry on his toes when she would cry at the smallest inconveniences like her dropped hot dog, (but not her dead Grandma).

6. Nina (Catherine Keener)
Nina is the artist who paints that infamous portrait of Kramer (Michael Richards) — “a loathsome, offensive brute.” She was hilarious as the pretentious artist.

5. Sheila (Alexandra Wentworth)
Hated by the Soup Nazi, but forever loved, and known by Jerry and fans as”Schmoopie.” One of Jer’s more unintentionally funny girlfriends, for sure.

4. Sharon (Paula Marshall)
The NYU student reporter who mistakenly thought Jerry and George were gay — not that there’s anything wrong with that!” Jerry hilariously dated Sharon to prove he was straight — it didn’t last.

3. Sidra (Teri Hatcher)
Sidra dated Jerry for a while, but things ended when she found out he got Elaine to find out whether or not her breasts were real. For the record, “they’re real, and they’re spectacular.” One of Seinfeld‘s funniest lines ever.

2. Jeannie (Janeane Garofalo)
Jeannie was probably Jerry’s only girlfriend that could hold her own to Jerry’s wit. So much so, he broke off their engagement when he realized how much they were alike!

1. Elaine Benes (Julia Louis-Dreyfus)
Jerry and Elaine dated before the show’s timeline begins, but in “The Deal,” they give their relationship another go. Easily Jerry’s funniest girlfriend ever!

All photos: NBC